#16 Grilling

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Incontrovertible Fact: cooking is not a Mantivity. The inclusion of an open fire, an outdoor environment, and certain types of equipment, however, make grilling a very different type of food creation than merely “cooking.” Grilling chiefly occurs in the backyard, at the campsite, and while tailgating.

The three major types of grilling are gas-fired, charcoal, and campfire. Each style can be used in a different way (indirect smoking, searing, etc), but for the most part, campfire grilling is the most Manly, using charcoal is the second most, and gas grills are the least Manly among the three. A Man’s grill and grilling equipment are critical for the execution of this Mantivity. Bonus points are earned when the Man has more than one grill, especially if they are of the same type (ie three charcoal grills of varying sizes).

The appropriate foods to be grilled are as follows: steaks, brats, hot dogs, polish sausage, italian sausage, sausage, brats, beef kabobs, lamb kabobs, ribs, warthogs, brats, chicken breasts, chickens, goats, hamburgers, buffalo, squirrel, venison, lamb chops, brats, jumbo shrimp, swordfish, trout, and alligator. Grilling vegetables is permitted, but only at the behest of a woman, who is somehow connected to the Man grilling. Preferably near the pelvis area.

The Mantivity score for using a gas grill is 2.7, using a charcoal is 2.8, and using a campfire flame is a 3.0. Men should be cautious of items that are labeled “grill”, but are actually agents of communism.

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One Response to “#16 Grilling”

  1. imaG Says:

    I love a grill but what ups the man score is if a bitch grills ya food for you and brings it to you because youre the king

    http://www.anythingblack.net

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