#31 Digging

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A common misconception is that it is Manly to get dirty. This is not the case. The truth is that a lot of Mantivities result in dirtiness, and so many people assume that the dirtiness is itself Manly, but really there are ways to get dirty that are very unManly (ie mudbath). Digging, of course, is the foremost example of a Manly way to get dirty, because the whole idea is to move dirt, and a lot of that dirt will end up on your skin.

Men have a lot of reasons to dig. The most ancient of these is the search for buried treasure, which Men have been doing for a long time. When digging for buried treasure, a Man must use a standard shovel, and then when the shovel runs into something hard (the shovel will make a sound), must get on his knees, and use his bare hands to finish the job. After that he can move to Bermuda, or just go home and watch the game, depending on the nature of the treasure.

More common than the search for buried treasure is the digging done in the construction industry. In the middle ages, the construction industry focused on digging moats, massive trenches, and digging up rocks to build really useful stuff. Today, construction Men dig in order to lay foundations for buildings, and do other important stuff, like reroute rivers and bury nuclear waste.

The fact is, there are plenty of Manly reasons to dig (we haven’t even mentioned all the reasons a Man might dig a tunnel). The Mantivity score varies widely depending on which reason a Man has, but even something as simple as burying some bones for later use will get you a 1.5 (this is more often done by dogs than Men, but keep it in mind).

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7 Responses to “#31 Digging”

  1. Johnson Says:

    That’s not a hole-diggin’ shovel. Just sayin’…

  2. Thomas Smith Says:

    Since you haven’t left an e-mail for questions I’ll just post off topic.

    In my regular job I work as a traffic signal repairman, parking in moving traffic to change light bulbs in a big yellow bucket truck, laying on my side in a freezing puddle in January to troubleshoot 120 volt equipment, etcetera.

    My part time job is as a pedicurist in a nail salon, (started when I dated the owner’s sister in law) trimming toenails and massaging feet of women who are typically less hot than I’d like, though there are some real winners. It does however expose me to women, and women are routinely repelled by electronics techs/electricians.

    What is the net mantivity score of these two occupations?

  3. Daniel Boone Says:

    Tom- Feel free to email us at mantivities@gmail.com anytime you feel moved to do so. However, I am glad you shared your story publicly so that anyone reading can learn about the lives of Men.

    Your day job is downright awesome; there is no doubt here. Its dangerous, it’s at a higher altitude than normal, its uncomfortable, and you described it here with the necessary nonchalance: “…equipment, etcetera.”

    Your part-time job is significantly less cool, but you already knew that. Your honesty, the job’s part-time nature, and the fact that it is a second job all work together to reduce the Mantivity score deduction that you would have normally received on this measure. Your day job scores a 3.6 easy, maybe more given certain details, like what kind of tools you carry on your belt while working. Your part-time job scores a deduction of .5, leaving you with a net score of 3.1. Thanks for reading and for your thoughts.

  4. Farmboy Says:

    I disagree with Johnson….it’s maybe not the best “hole-diggin’ shovel” out there, nevertheless it can be used to dig a hole.

    Tangent, of sorts….I’m curious of this…Skippy-hole-digger up there is working away at that hole, albeit with not-the-best hole makin’ shovel there is, but still. I notice he’s not wearing hand or eye protection. Not the biggest of deals, I know, but I’m curious if wearing safety equipment like protective glasses or gloves has any effect on the Manly Score of particular Mantivities where safety equipment might be worn?

  5. Thomas Smith Says:

    Safety gear for digging a simple hole with a simple shovel sounds like a big negative to me. protective gear with high voltage/power/rotation speeds and or a real risk of flying debris sure. but you can only hurt yourself in the above situation if your foot slips off the shovel into the hole.

  6. imaG Says:

    I love the mantivity scoring. I’m a man nurse what do I get?

  7. Thomas Smith Says:

    You’re gonna hafta be more specific I think. Do you change sheets or wrestle Hannibal Lecter into a straight jacket?

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