#33 Playing the Drums

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Music is confusing to Men. Sometimes, it makes them feel “emotions,” an experience which can be upsetting and infuriating for a Man who just wants to watch the game. Other music makes them want to sing and dance, which can be embarrassing and unManly. One source of music, however, has always made logical sense in the mind of Men: the drums.

The fact is, playing the drums is much closer to getting in a bar fight than it is to singing or blowing on a flute. It takes focus, power, and some deeply buried source of anger (messed up childhood, addiction to cocaine, the inability to find a favorite wrench, etc). Man’s natural reaction to anger is to pound on things – doing this with rhythm is just taking it one step further.

The Manliness of drumming can be traced back to the days when wars were decided by who was more pissed off. Leaders of Men found that drums were capable of whipping certain Men into a frenzy that transformed them into unstoppable forces on the battle field. The Men that had this reaction to the drums died less often than the Men who felt nothing when drums were played. Natural selection did the rest.

The Mantivity score for playing the drums is 2.8. Generally, a drummer’s appearance does not matter, he should just avoid looking like a douche bag (ie, if you are a beginner, or just untalented – don’t take your shirt off when you play, that looks stupid). Bonus points can be earned if your drumming causes fights or if you are using atypical apparatus, like a trash can or a set of human skulls.

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4 Responses to “#33 Playing the Drums”

  1. OlderMusicGeek Says:

    playing the drums is manly, but there’s one type of music that is manly no matter what instrument you play – punk rock! all of the instruments are played tough, hard and manly. even in the celtic punk bands – http://www.paddyrock.com/ – where they play banjos, mandolins and bagpipes!

  2. RALPH Says:

    I am going to have to disagree OlderMusicGeek, heavy metal is infinitely more manly than punk. Punk music has brought about the emo scene, which is about as manly as a woman’s period,and thus gets points knocked off. Punks have funny cropped hairstyles, eyeliner,pins through their cheeks, buttons on their jackets, tight girlish jeans..all of which are unmanly. The typical attire of heavy metal is jeans or cammo pants,work or combat boots, and a t shirt of another heavy metal band…occasionally, a flannel shirt thrown on if it cold. If you are a Scandinavian band, you are typically dressed like a 5th century Germanic warrior, complete with spikes, war paint, and axes. The only emotion in heavy metal: anger. Everything screams aggression, from the guitar playing to the singing. Let’s not forget headbanging and mosh pits! What could be more manly than throwing your head back and forth with no real purpose and fighting friends and strangers. Then heading to the parking lot for an ice cold Pabst Blue Ribbon? I can’t think of anything.

  3. WildWildWest Says:

    Ralph: 1
    OlderMusicGeek: 0

  4. oldermusicgeek Says:

    wait a minute! i will admit heavy metal is also manly, but please… plenty of heavy metal and hard rock artists have been and have used adrogyny!

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