#38 Being Lazy


Ed. note: this post should help to explain why Daniel Boone and I have not posted in a very long time. We apologize for this inconsiderate (although Manly) behavior.

Men love sleeping. And lazy boys. And beer. This is because Men are by nature a lazy species. This is obvious when one considers the things Men are willing to pay the most money for, large televisions, luxurious boats, and private chefs being some good examples.

Some people reading this internet web-blog posting will argue that Men are not lazy, citing countless examples of hard-working Men. Of course, this is a misleading argument. It is true that a Man’s laziness can be trumped by other more urgent endeavors, but in the end, it is to laziness that a Man will always return. Many Men become confused when they are young, and think that a good way to spend free time is by kayaking and going for jogs. Eventually these Men realize that the only reason they do this is to have an excuse for the laziness that inevitably follows their “exercise,” and they soon stop pointlessly wasting energy, as Man needs no excuse for laziness.

There is no historical, evolutionary, or religious explanation for the laziness of Men. It has never been advantageous to prefer sleep to hard work, not even during the ice age, and definitely not during the 90s. Women clearly prefer Men who are willing to work hard to get what they want (there are exceptions). God has frowned upon laziness, at least since 2001. So why, then, are Men so lazy? I’m going to go take a nap while I think about it.


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