#46 Not Understanding the Internet


Men are wise. This has been well established time and time again. However, not all humans are Men – in fact, not even all males are Men (although some females are Men). Therefore, things have been invented to help the non-Men of the world to survive without Manly wisdom. “The internet” is one of these things.

The general idea of “the internet” is that a bunch of people can talk to each other and send each other letters and movies and objects through their TVs, when they aren’t being used to watch the game or replays of the game on ESPN classic. It is also useful for Men who enjoy looking a nudy pictures, which, to be clear, is not a Mantivity (it should go without explaining why).

Despite the almost self-evident uselessness of such a device, Men are occasionally forced to talk about “the internet” or say things about “the internet.” Men who run for president, for example, must pretend to like “the internet” to garner votes from the non-Man voting block. Older Men, who have spread their seed and become Grandfathers (Mantivity), have to enter “the internet” in order to correspond with their descendants.

A Man who knows absolutely nothing about “the internet” earns a 3.3 Manitvity score, however, if a Man is forced to discuss or use “the internet,” he can maintain a decent score by not being very knowledgeable. Do not learn the proper use for terms such as “twitter,” “google,” and “social networking.” DO NOT USE EMOTICONS. Always talk about “the internet” as if it is imaginary and/or impossible. Do not refer to “favorite websites,” or “podcasts” or “search engines.” And most definitely, do not talk about “your blog” if for some reason you have a blog.

And if you do have a blog – make sure to update it infrequently. Perhaps once every two years would be appropriate.


One Response to “#46 Not Understanding the Internet”

  1. Ranjith Says:

    I stumbled across your blog via StumbleUpon.
    This, is, the, best,, post.

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