#45 Being an Astronaut


Men like setting and achieving goals. Winning the tour de france seven times with one testicle is an example of a goal a Man might set. More difficult than that, however, is overcoming that age old foe of bi-peds: gravity. Let’s face it, gravity’s a bitch. Without gravity Man would be free to jump to the top of buildings for lunch, fly to Saudi Arabia for free, and skydive from the ground into a plane. Some Men get so pissed off thinking about the opportunities gravity has taken from them, that they decide to do something about it. They become Astronauts.

Besides the whole gravity thing, one of the main reasons Men become astronauts is that they get to wear super-hero like jumpsuits and they get to navigate spacecraft that Han Solo would have envied. Basically, this makes them 21st century cowboys, and cowboys rule. Man.

On top of all that, Astronauts are widely accepted as American heroes. Neil Armstrong, is the prime example of an astronaut turned luminary, but there are others as well. Take for example, Bruce Willis, who on June 1st, 1998 saved the world from impending destruction at the hands of an asteroid, and then went on to have a successful career making movies in Hollywood.

The Mantivity score for being an Astronaut is 4.1. This is assuming that you aren’t a space monkey and that you aren’t Russian. In either of those cases, your failure is so complete that you are disqualified from Manliness for life. Oh yeah, bonus points for usage of Manly astronaut phrases such as “Houston we have lift off,” “One small step for Man, one giant leap for Mankind” and “Beam me up Scotty.”


3 Responses to “#45 Being an Astronaut”

  1. James Says:

    Hey guys, well it’s been a year! …… it’s getting lonely on these pages, is this all men are made of???? I certainly hope not!

    I know, life happens and things change, just thought I’d give a little poke and prod to see if you guys were still alive.


  2. NapoleonB. Says:

    After reading each post carefully, I must say your web site is well done. I would like to suggest two profiles of Manliness that perhaps could be written, and a Mantivity that sadly should be at the forefront.
    1. Jeremiah Johnson, and a profile to his legendary Manliness.
    2. Alexander the Great, and a profile to a Man who conquered the World.

    The Mantivity I spoke of is “Growing a Beard.” Something only Men can do, and sports true Manliness. Little faggot facial hair earn less points than a full Beard, unless the facial hair in question are British Mutton Chops, or Elvis Burns.

    Keep up the Good work.

  3. business Says:

    While Dark Knight Rises , International Olympic Athlete Touches down ready for the Big Competition |

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